I'm sure there's a lot of things I do wrong, but the greatest of them all are giving mixed signals and choosing terrible boyfriends. My close friends easily become family if/when I don't consider them as dating material. Even if the two of us would make (or are) an awesome team, I wouldn't date someone just for filling that void.
My one friend taught me well. He said relationships are mainly based on human survival instinct. I can argue all I want that I'm not looking for someone to sweep me off my feet, but for compatibility instead. Would that person share (or at least understand and respect) my interest in Asia and Asian cultures? Would that person accept me the way I am and simultaneously inspire me to improve? Would that person bore me after a few weeks or months? These questions are only the start...
Speaking of questions, why do people search for their significant other? Is it to fulfill physical desires? Is it to fill the emotional void that, in my opinion, can be dulled by good friends and a hobbie or two? Even couples aren't 100% happy. That is what we all aspire to (happiness) be it through wealth, beauty, wisdom, and/or relationships.
Falling in love is wonderful and all, but sooner or later that flame will die and the relationship will mature into something more meaningful. Despite the fact that I believe compatibility is important, aesthetic values are as well. Personally, my ideal boyfriend would be charming and attractive - not too much to attract other girls or seem better off than me (appearance-wise), but we should make cute couple and a pretty picture. If you know what I mean.
That's one of the reasons I want to lose more weight, tone my body and improve my skin and hair. How could I expect a charming guy to like me if I can't even look myself in the mirror and smile without consolation and pity?
It can't be a physical need for me, because I view public display of affection as inappropriate and disrespectful towards those around you. It also muddies your reputation. Holding hands and greeting with hugs are still okay, but making out in the corridor? Oh HELL NO! There's just some things you don't do. In my mind, if you succumb to unconscious impulses (referring to Sigmund Freud's behavioral perspective) you are mentally and emotionally weak. Thus, I believe, people that can stabilize, regulate and successfully repress these impulses are more sophisticated and "rich" moral-wise than people who allow their innate impulses to control them.
Love is sweet, though, but the heartbreak. Is it really worth it?
For now, I haven't reached my conclusion. I'm not stuck up, but I am a bit picky (regarding morals and religion at the least). I suppose if I get to know my crush a bit more and he likes me back... Or if I find someone who I think would be fun dating... I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Who's ready to celebrate Single Awareness day with me? haha
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