Valentine's Day is just around the corner and I find myself wondering what is love and is it really worth the heartbreak...
I'm sure there's a lot of things I do wrong, but the greatest of them all are giving mixed signals and choosing terrible boyfriends. My close friends easily become family if/when I don't consider them as dating material. Even if the two of us would make (or are) an awesome team, I wouldn't date someone just for filling that void.
My one friend taught me well. He said relationships are mainly based on human survival instinct. I can argue all I want that I'm not looking for someone to sweep me off my feet, but for compatibility instead. Would that person share (or at least understand and respect) my interest in Asia and Asian cultures? Would that person accept me the way I am and simultaneously inspire me to improve? Would that person bore me after a few weeks or months? These questions are only the start...
Speaking of questions, why do people search for their significant other? Is it to fulfill physical desires? Is it to fill the emotional void that, in my opinion, can be dulled by good friends and a hobbie or two? Even couples aren't 100% happy. That is what we all aspire to (happiness) be it through wealth, beauty, wisdom, and/or relationships.
Falling in love is wonderful and all, but sooner or later that flame will die and the relationship will mature into something more meaningful. Despite the fact that I believe compatibility is important, aesthetic values are as well. Personally, my ideal boyfriend would be charming and attractive - not too much to attract other girls or seem better off than me (appearance-wise), but we should make cute couple and a pretty picture. If you know what I mean.
That's one of the reasons I want to lose more weight, tone my body and improve my skin and hair. How could I expect a charming guy to like me if I can't even look myself in the mirror and smile without consolation and pity?
It can't be a physical need for me, because I view public display of affection as inappropriate and disrespectful towards those around you. It also muddies your reputation. Holding hands and greeting with hugs are still okay, but making out in the corridor? Oh HELL NO! There's just some things you don't do. In my mind, if you succumb to unconscious impulses (referring to Sigmund Freud's behavioral perspective) you are mentally and emotionally weak. Thus, I believe, people that can stabilize, regulate and successfully repress these impulses are more sophisticated and "rich" moral-wise than people who allow their innate impulses to control them.
Love is sweet, though, but the heartbreak. Is it really worth it?
For now, I haven't reached my conclusion. I'm not stuck up, but I am a bit picky (regarding morals and religion at the least). I suppose if I get to know my crush a bit more and he likes me back... Or if I find someone who I think would be fun dating... I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Who's ready to celebrate Single Awareness day with me? haha
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, 8 February 2013
Monday, 12 November 2012
[PROFILES] Some of CY0330's main characters~
Hey, guise!
Just to clear up some visual confusion, here’s
a brief profile of some of the main characters in the CY0330 story.
Name: Milu
Surname: Kim (adopted by her engineer's assistant)
Age: 12 (her real age since activation)
Race: Cybot Model CY0330
Culture: Korean/Asian
Appearance:
Model of visuals: Seo Ji Hye (ulzzang)
Name: Trish
Surname: Unknown as of yet
Age: 18
Race: Caucasian/American
Culture: American/Western
Appearance:
Name: Caine
Surname: Windsor
Age: 18
Race: Caucasian/European
Culture: European/Western
Appearance:
Name: Vicki (Victoria)
Surname: Unknown as of yet
Age: 16
Race: Caucasian
Culture: Western/American
Appearance:
I'll edit these when I get new visuals of more characters, so stay tuned! (:
[STORY] CYbot Model CY0330 Milu #chapter3
“Sweetie, I’m
home!”
I didn’t
budge. I was still doing my home work. My fingers were struggling to get used to
roman letters again and it rendered me laughing every time I accidentally
registered the words in hangul or hiragana and had to rewrite them. My book
looked like a mess.
“Milu, are you home?”
“Yes, mom! Doing homework!”
I called at the door. Papers rustled downstairs and a strange noise sounded,
followed by a thump. My curiosity wouldn’t
keep me seated much longer.
“Are you okay?”
I decided to ask and rushed down. I still remember the last time she tripped
and fell. There was red everywhere and I had to drive her to a hospital.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs, a bundle of white fur
attacked me. When I finally got a hold of the creature
without hurting it, I held it away from my face.
“What is it?”
“It’s
a puppy,”
Mrs Kim laughed, picking the boxes and papers that fell and placing them on the
table.
“It’s
a male puppy –
just a little something to say sorry for this morning,”
she smiled. It was the type of smile that offered a world of comfort and
reassurance.
“He’s
yours, Milu,”
she said, stroking my hair affectionately. “You
can name him whatever you want, just remember to take him on walks and feed him
everyday, all right?”
“I’ll
call him Haru,”
I decided, looking into the puppy’s
fluffy face. I rushed him upstairs to my room, but stopped at the top of the
stairs and turned to look back at my mom.
“Saranghaeyo, mama!”
She blinked in response.
I ran around for
a while and constructed a tent of fleece blankets, pillows and newspapers for
Haru. Luckily, my room was big enough for the both of us.
***
I struggled to
concentrate for the remainder of that day. It was pathetic. The new girl was in
every class I attended and she didn’t look at me even once. She worked really
hard, I admire that of her. She really isn’t like the others. She doesn’t talk
with the other girls when they talk about love and R rated matters. Her
innocence is beautiful, but her seriousness and ambition ruins it. I wonder if
she’s all that serious in person.
“Yo, Caine!” The
ball hit me hard on the head.
“Watch it!” I
yelled and the others start laughing. I kicked the ball into the air and held
it there with my knee, then side-kicked it to Travis, who was holding his belly
from laughing too much. It hit his hands, causing him to crash to the ground. I
laughed at his shocked expression and chased after the soccer ball.
“Travis, take my
right!”
“Gotcha!” Travis
accepted the pass like a pro, dodged Tony and scored a goal.
“Okay, people!
Go away, I want to go home,” the coach blew a whistle so that we all would hear
him. He always had the most absurd ways of dismissing the practice sessions.
“Hey, Caine?” It
was Travis. He threw me a towel that I hung around my neck as we walked back to
the locker room.
“Yeah?”
“Are you going
to the gymn now?”
“Man, I gotta
catch up with some homework, dude. I’ll gym with you tomorrow?”
“Whatever, man,”
Travis waved a hand in disappointed dismissal. I sighed. He was always like
this. You’d think I would be used to it by now.
If he had to
find out what I really do when I skip gymning sessions, he would be furious.
A few hours later.
“’Sup, guys!”
“Caine! So glad
you came! We need more muscle in this... Whatever this is,” Roxxy said,
adjusting some controls on her keyboard.
“Ha! Muscle?” I
asked, somewhat embarrassed. “We’re a band, aren’t we? Where’s Adelle?” The
crew’s smiles faded.
“She left for
college today; becoming a chef, apparently,” came the reply. I was shocked.
“What about her
singing career?” I protested helplessly.
“There’s no
money in it,” Kevin, our guitarist, mocked in a high pitched voice. The rest
frowned at him for his joke.
“Then we’ll just
have to find a new lead,” I smiled. What else could I have said? I didn’t want
to crush them.
“I’ll make
flyers for auditions and post them up on the school’s bulletin board tomorrow,”
Roxxy offered. “But for now, we practise! From the top!”
Kevin started
with a comfortable melody, going from soft and when it reached the right
volume, Roxxy tuned into it with the keyboard. The melody built to a climax
that I carried out with my drums, giving the song an energetic feel.
[STORY] CYbot Model CY0330 Milu #chapter2
Trish fixed her hair and lost herself in the bathroom
mirror.
“Am I beautiful?” she
asked in a hesitant voice as if it might answer her.
“Of course you are,” her
friend, Ali, rested a hand on her shoulder.
“That new girl is not as nearly as
beautiful as you. You shouldn’t
worry so much about her. She looks way too young for our grade anyway – the
chances that Caine would give her any attention are slim.”
“You’re
wrong,” she looked down into the basin and
washed her hands for a third time. “She’s small
and cute. Caine will probably protect her like a little sister. Don’t
you remember? He did that with little Andrew too.”
“Andrew, the kid in the wheelchair?”
“Yes, that one.”
“Why don’t we
befriend her then?”
Trish looked at her in shock.
“Just imagine,” Ali
protested. “We
might get on his good side again.”
Trish thought about it for a while. “That
might work, but what if she declines?”
“No one would decline our friendship. Everyone admires us!”
“I miss him, Ali.”
“You must forget him and move on,”
another girl joined them from one of the stalls. She was younger than them and
had read hair; her name
was Victoria. She wasn’t
their friend, but she always lifted her opinion wherever and to whomever –
even if it would mean the end of her.
“Who are you?” Ali
pulled a face at the girl.
“Doesn’t
matter,” Vicki smiled warmly, fiddling with the
tap. “Getting over heartbreaks are difficult,
but you need to let them go. By them,
I mean the emotions – the chemistry; the
hatred; the jealousy. It would only hold you down and keep you from noticing
the people that really care about you.”
“Why you little – ”
“Leave her, Ali.”
Trish grabbed her friend by the wrist and allowed Vicki to dash out the door.
Vicki smirked. She made her way to the lockers, but when she
reached hers it was drenched in orange jelly.
“Not again,” she
sighed and took out her books as if the jelly was non-existent. They just want a reaction, she thought. They’ll
leave me alone once they get none – I
hope. She paced towards her next class.
***
Milu was nervous. Despite the fact that she did a charisma
class a few years ago along with multiple dance and vocal classes, she never
had to act in front of an
audience. Acting was like lying about who you are. With that
thought, her stomach dropped. I’m sure I’ll ace this class,
she thought bitterly.
“All right, on your feet!
Our first scenario is a breakup. Caine, you’re the boyfriend. Vicki, you’re the
girlfriend. Richard, you’re Vicki’s admirer. Milu, you’re Vicki’s best friend.
Travis, you’re Caine’s best friend. And I think that’s all. Correct me if I’m
wrong. Someone!”
“Sir, I’m still here,” a
brown-haired boy walked up to the teacher with a hopeful expression.
“You can be the tree,”
the teacher said, shoving a bunch of paperwork in his hands and giving him a
whistle.
“The tree looks an awful
lot like the director,” someone said.
“Ha!” the teacher laughed
and clapped his hands, “All right people. Think for a while, Tony will be your adviser,”
he pointed to the tree-boy, “and improvise! I’m giving you five minutes to put
something together.”
“Aiite,” Tony said,
calling the group together. “Any suggestions why you two broke up?” he looked
at the redhead and at Caine.
“She stole my wallet,”
Caine joked, causing everyone to laugh.
“It’s a misunderstanding!”
Vicki protested with a new idea. “Richard Photoshopped some photos so that it
seemed as if we were having an affair. Caine can be the stubborn, unreasonable
boyfriend, and I can be a wreck.”
There was a slight
silence as everyone contemplated it.
“Time’s up!” the teacher
clapped his enormous hands together and leaned back in his chair. The students
scurried around to get to the positions they thought would be most suitable.
There was excitement and anxiety in the air.
“And action!” Tony
commanded. Vicki was sitting on the floor in the center, crying in Milu’s arms.
Milu was surprised and slightly taken aback when she noticed Vicki’s cheeks
were really wet.
“Vicki!” Caine came into
the scene, closely followed by his wing-man, Travis. “How could you go behind my
back like that? Again! After everything I did for you!” His voice was filled
with anger and regret. Milu hugged Vicki tighter and uttered a protective “go
away”.
“No, I won’t. I want to
talk with Vicki. You can go, you’re not needed here.”
“Oh? Then how come you
have backup with you?” Milu gestured at Travis, stood up with Vicki and held
her hand sportively.
“Hey, at least I’m not
defending the wrong-doer!” Travis yelled. His anger seemed to be out of control
as he stepped forward threateningly.
“You’re delusional, the
both of you,” Milu said, slightly agitated. Travis could barely resist from
bursting out in laughter.
“Cut!”
All of them directed
their eyes to the teacher, surprised.
“Milu, what are you
doing?”
“I’m protecting my
friend, sir,” she replied, confused and ignorant.
“You are too soft!
Perhaps that is what you are – the victim,” he thought aloud. Milu gasped.
“Vicki, this time you’re
the best friend. Caine, be a bit gentler so nobody would be compelled to resume
a failed defensive position. Milu, just be the sad girlfriend now, okay? Try
not to mess it up this time.”
“Action!”
Milu looked at her shoes,
pulling her knees to her chest. Vicki placed an arm around her and talked
softly, “Are you okay?”
She nodded, then raised
her shoulders, and then finally shook her head in admittance.
“How could you do this to
me, Milu?” a voice came from above, but it wasn’t as aggressive as before.
She opened her mouth to
say something, but nothing came out, so she closed it again and looked away.
“Why don’t you go run and
play with your friends, Caine. She doesn’t need you picking on her right now,”
Vicki came to her rescue. Caine seemed surprised at her reaction and crouched
beside them to look her straight in the eye, “I just want to talk with her.
Travis picked Vicki up
without much effort and carried her elsewhere, causing Tony and the teacher to
laugh. She tried to resist him until he pressed a finger to her lips, silencing
her with one gaze. It was as if she melted.
“Milu,” Caine said,
reaching for her. She fell over, appalled at how close he was.
“Caine,” she said as if
beyond tears, “if you don’t trust me, I don’t know why we’re still talking.”
They stood up in unison.
Caine had a shocked expression on his face and seemed more hurt than ever. He
was a good actor – a good liar.
“If you knew me as you
thought you did, you wouldn’t accuse me of cheating on you,” she started, then
frowned slightly before continuing. “If you were as smart as you think you are,
you would have noticed that the photos are edited.”
This ticked him off.
“Aaaaahhhhhgggg!” Richard
stormed into the scene and tackled Caine to the ground. They threw mock punches
for a while, leaving Milu to stand alone, covering her mouth. When they were
both standing, steadying themselves for the next round, Milu approached.
“You!” Richard roared,”
You will never have her, you jerk!”
Milu slapped Richard on
his cheek – the sound echoed through the room. He grabbed for his reddened
face, scolding her, but backing away slowly. Then, she walked up to Caine and
rested the same hand on his cheek. He smiled down at her affectionately, as if
he won her over again. Without a warning, she flicked his nose.
“Babuya!” Milu scolded
and turned to leave with Vicki.
The bell rang and
everyone grabbed their stuff and started to head out.
“Hold on!” the teacher
stopped them, “Remember everyone was just acting, people! No need to go hate eachother
now.” He was probably referring to Milu and Richard more than anyone else.
“What does babuya mean?” It was Vicki.
“It’s Korean for you’re stupid,” came the reply.
“You’ve never been in
love, have you?”
Milu shook her head. “I
haven’t. To be honest, I’m not really sure what love is or what it’s supposed
to be.”
Objective Prologue © Copyrighted by Angelique
Roux
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